OBSESSION

I often felt that those who obsessed

Were insecure, selfish and insane.

Now I find myself doing the same

Only more pious and profane.

Maybe ‘tis why so many have moved on

Avoiding the commitment I wish to share.

Or maybe there’s a glaring tattoo on my chest

That says “move on, this one BEWARE”.

I have no self-esteem to boast about,

So when someone pays full attention

My obsession kicks into full throttle

As commitment becomes my intention.

They never view the relationship

In the same way that I always do.

They look for friends with benefits,

While I’m looking for someone to woo.

It seems that I am the one who always loses

For they never stick around till the end.

I guess I should be forever happy

They at least wanted to be my friend.

©Regina2009

THE EX-LOVER

Finding love is difficult enough

Without having to deal with an ex-lover.

I built the wall, found the going is tough

I tried very hard my poor heart to cover.

So why is it that the ex-lover does call

And stir up old feelings and new?

Wasn’t it enough that I had to build a wall

With no windows or doors for a view?

I wandered alone in the vastness of time

Awaiting your call forever and a day.

Then suddenly appears the perpetuator of the crime

Attempting once more my heart to sway.

Did you not get it when I told you before

I am done with your inability to mature?

So why are you now knocking on my front door

And trying to confuse a heart once pure?

Please go away, I have found happiness true

So there is no need for you to come calling.

I loved you dearly and sometimes still do,

But your actions were way too appalling.

I wish for you only rainbows and gold

And happiness to always abound.

But I now have someone with whom I can grow old

And true contentment now I have found.

©Regina2009

LOVE BETWEEN FRIENDS

why do i do stupid things when i am around you?
you make me feel sixteen again, full of hope.

yet we are only friends, nothing more, nothing less.
and sometimes this is the hardest thing with which to cope.

i have loved before and lost, leaving me inside my brick prison
surrounding my heart and soul, waiting for eternal death.

your smile, your wit, your numerous talents, all drew me to you.
yet i wait to see if you will accept me before my final breath.

my days are numbered, i am closer to being called home.
yet i still wish to love and be loved before i say goodbye.

so i sit and wait inside this brick tomb i have built
waiting for love to take me in it's arms before i die.

i don't hold you to blame, for i understand your plight.
i just can't help how i feel when i think of you.

you have come so far in rebuilding your life
and i support your dreams and everything you do.

please remember me when you get it all straightened out
and find out you are still young and strong enough to love again

for i will be waiting for you behind that brick wall
hoping once more you will find that love can come to friends.

©Regina2009

LOVE’S GARDEN

My hands work feverishly,

Working the yarn over and under.

Outside the sun is brightly shining,

Inside there is rain, lightning, and thunder.

The television blares out some movie

As my mind tries hard to keep busy.

But my emotions, raw and bleeding,

Are so numerous I am ever dizzy.

How can a woman fall so hard and fast

For someone she hardly even knows?

I’ve heard it takes time and commitment

Tending love’s garden as it grows.

Nonetheless I will continue

Sitting and pretending I am fine.

While love and life pass me by

Never quite becoming mine.

©Regina 2009

A PRINCE DID COME

When I was young I dreamed of fairy tale castles
And a handsome young prince riding up on a steed.


When I matured, I realized those dreams were fantasies
And princes were deceitful men who made my heart bleed.


The thought of beautiful roses gave way to thickets of thorns.
And happiness was an illusive butterfly never to be caught.


No castles, no princes, no happy-ever-afters.
Just hard lessons by a savage life were taught.


As I lay grieving over a life filled with woe
A prince rode up on a fiery red horse.


My heart skipped a beat, wondering was this a mirage
Or had my unhappy life finally changed course.


Not only did I find someone for whom I do care
But someone who became my best friend.


And no matter what transpires the rest of my life,
I know he will be there for me till the end.


©Regina2009

BEFORE YOU

Before you,

I had very few moments in the sun.

Before you,

my life never seemed to have begun

Before you,

there was no importance in my life

Before you,

all I had been was an unhappy wife

Before you,

my pleasures were often few

Before you,

my life held nothing new

Before you,

I had little to hold onto day to day

Before you,

my whole world was in complete decay

Then you came into my world and brought sunshine to my soul

And without my even noticing, my very heart you stole

Protect it and cherish it forever and a day

For without your constant caring it will surely pass away

©Regina2009

MY MOTHER

I wish I could write a glowing tribute
To my mother who almost died to give me life.

Her being a good mother no one would dispute
But my world still seemed filled with strife.

Every Sunday morning, and every Wednesday night
Would find the two of us at some church event.

Mother was always serving, doing what was right.
Helping others was her joy, their sadness she’d prevent.

Many times she came between my father’s fist and me.
Often taking the brunt of his anger and his rage.

But she never once complained about how things came to be.
Nor her own war against the odds did she ever wage.

She not only raised me, her only natural child
But took in over thirty children who’d been cast aside.

No matter what, her temperament remained mild.
She raised us all, eased our pains, held us when we cried.

Then while spending the night with a group of friends
I got the call no one ever wants to receive.

I never had the chance, you see, with her to make amends.
I was only nineteen years old and had to learn to grieve.

I don’t remember much about the woman who gave me life
Except the fact she gave so much to others, leaving little for herself.

So when I became a mother and a wife,
All I could do was show them her picture on the shelf.

I lost her quite a while ago, last January was thirty six years.
Sometimes I remember little things she taught me during my youth.

And when I stop and try to remember, I am overcome by tears.
For the one thing I remember about mother is she always stood for truth.

©Regina2009

WHAT DO I DO?

When I sit quietly in my room and think of you

I run through a gamut of emotions.

A better friend I could not ask for.

As a lover you set me on fire.

But when I confront my emotions

I become so confused.

You say you cannot commit.

But you evoke such powerful feelings in me.

What am I to do while you decide?

I cannot help what stirs inside me.

I want to voice my feelings, but dare not.

For I know you do not feel the same.

I hear your voice and I feel sixteen again.

But tears and fears o’ertake me in my lonely bed.

I long for your return, for your touch, your kiss.

But more than that I long for your feelings.

Tell me what you feel inside when you are not with me.

Do you think of me? Do you miss me?

How can I have so many feelings for you inside

Yet feel so numb when you are not with me?

I can only live my complacent life day by day

Awaiting once more to see you walk through my door.

©Regina2009

THE BUMBLEBEE

Buzzing here, buzzing there

A bumblebee’s life is not mundane.

It travels places far and near

More of the sweet nectar to gain.

Flowers full of nature’s honey

Entice the tiny creatures.

Amber wings, black and gold

These colors enhance their tiny features.

But beware, for these little bees

Can pack a powerful sting.

So though they’re fuzzy, cute, buzzing bugs

Such pain they often can bring.

©Regina2009

(photo was shot in my front yard. i chased that stupid bumblebee all around that bush before he stood still long enough for me to shoot him)

WAITING FOR YOUR RETURN

Whisper softly my name, for I long to hear your voice.

Touch my skin with your lips, your hands, your being.

I beg your arms to hold me tightly, even as I sleep.

Take me when the need arises, for I want to be one with you.

I thrive on you, for you are the blood that pulses through my veins.

I awaken to your warmth surrounding me.

And once again, you must go.

Though you cannot take me with you,

Take me in spirit, for I will watch over you.

And I will await your return, bringing my spirit back to me.

©Regina2009

ALIVE

I can still feel the touch of your strong hands upon my skin.
My breath quickens as the thought replays in the recesses of my mind.

Sunshine peeks through the parting of the curtain.
It finds you not there, beside me, sleeping.

No morning touch, no morning sigh.
You have gone on, leaving behind your scent.

My hand lightly touches the sheet where you once lay.
It is now cold, nothing more than cotton threads.

I hold my pillow tightly, as you held me that last night.
My room is now void of you…..but your memory ever lingers.

Though I long for your return, I understand why you had to go.
Your life is out there, not here, with me.

There are no strings attached, like a puppet manipulated.
Just a longing for your touch once more, to let me know…….

I AM ALIVE.

©Regina2009

THE TRAIN

I hear the sound of a train , a truly lonesome sound

The steel wheels squeal on the tracks, nowhere bound


I sometimes wish I could hop that train, going nowhere

And flee my life of hopelessness and endless despair


But as I sit and dream of riding on that train

I realize I am the one who causes all my pain


One cannot escape the reality of this

We can make our life miserable or live in total bliss


It all hinges on the way we see the world each day

If we only see darkness anddoom, despair will come our way


But if we look into the sky and see the brightness of the sun

We have not lost this war called life, to fight we’ve just begun


Some battles will be lost as we walk this mortal land

But at the end of life, we can say we took a stand


Giving up and letting go are the easier paths to take

Either way we choose to go, the choice is ours to make

©Regina2006

THE PAINS OF DARKNESS

AMBER LIGHT, FADING, DYING
DARKNESS, ENCOMPASSING, CONSUMING
VOICES, UNTRUTHFUL, LYING
FEAR, UNCERTAINTY LOOMING.


SLEEPLESS NIGHT, TOO WELL KNOWN
NIGHTMARISH HORRORS ON NIGHTS OF FITFULL SLEEP
PEACEFUL DREAMS FAR AWAY HAVE FLOWN
ONLY DESPAIR FOLLOWS, FOREVER DEEP.


PACING, FRIGHTENED, CRAVING DAWN
WISHING AWAY THE AWFUL VOICES.
KNOWING NOT WHERE HOPE HAS GONE
AND HAVING NO MORE CHOICES.


BLACK GIVES WAY TO GRAY
THE VOICES DRIFT AFAR
THE SUN GIVES PROMISE OF A NEW DAY
AND ERASES EACH AND EVERY SCAR.


BUT SOON THE LIGHT BEGINS TO FADE
GIVING WAY TO DARKNESS ONCE MORE.
AGAIN SHE MUST LIE UPON THE BED SHE MADE
AND CRY HER PAIN AS BEFORE.


©Regina2006

MAN OF THE SEA

From where she sat, she could see his silhouette against the sky

As she gazed out at the man, she heard the seagulls cry

The ocean waves beat upon the rocky cliffs below

As a distant ship crossed her view with its daily catch in tow

The salty air revived her soul though deep inside she knew

Only one thing could make her smile, the man within her view

The one time their paths had crossed they briefly spoke a word

But she was so enamored, his speech she had not heard

She blushed and rushed onward, afraid that he might see

How much she adored him, this man of anonymity

No one in the village had ever heard his name

And no one even knew from whence this man came

He lived his life in secrecy somewhere along the shore

But all she knew was meeting him had left her wanting more

As the sun began its evening dance with earth each and every night

This man could be seen standing tall in the day’s waning light

Had they not spoken once, she would have thought him a ghost

For the only time he was ever seen was along the sandy coast

Oft her dreams would take her to a time of pirates and gold

She wondered if he were the ghost of some pillager of old

He always stood tall and sure, and she knew he must be strong

His hair was dark as ebony and was straight and very long

Someday she hoped that she would solve the haunting mystery

Of who he was and from whence he came, this man of the sea

©Regina2006