BLINDED......TO LOVE

i sat for hours, lost in the darkness
while sleep evaded, kept its distance
love was what i sought, but found it not
or so i thought

betrothed to one, loved by another
lost in love's cloudy deceit
while true love lay just before me
waiting for me to open to it

why do we turn a blind eye and deaf ear
why do we not see the truth before us
like a bright shining sun as we cleave to the darkness,
hoping to see yet we do not

but once my soul's eyes were turned
turned away from the light
i found what i had sought all along
waiting for me, praying i would reach out
and see the truth

true love is not always so obvious
sometimes we are meant to be blinded to it
so that when it is found, it is forever

such is this love..............

©Regina2005

HOPELESS

Sunset colors, bright, blazing in the west
Another day has gone, have I done my best?

My self esteem has gone and cannot be found
I find myself at day’s end closer ever closer to the ground

I am tired of being a victim, letting life get me down
I want to be able to awaken with a smile, not a frown

Little makes me happy as I sit in my darkened room
And watch the day outside go from glorious to gloom

My spirit used to soar so high and my heart was full of love
Now I have nothing beneath my wings to help me fly above

Why does love have to hurt when one gives their all?
I would not have flown up so high if I had known how far I’d fall

Since my earliest memories of what I’d want my life to be
I have wanted the white picket fence and someone to love only me

My heart has been given to a few along the way
Some of them left me for another, others were just gay

My last true love was the one I had waited for all my life
He professed his love o’er and o’er and asked me to be his wife

Then suddenly he was gone, no word from him as to why
All that is left for me to do now is to crawl away and die

(©Regina2006)

(Thanks to PenLady for sending me the copyright mark)

MY BELOVED SLEEPS

MY BELOVED SLEEPS

i awaken, and look over in the faint light
to see his hair laying gently across the pillow

i see his chest, rising and falling
with his gentle breathing

i want to touch his cheek, caress his brow,
but dare not, so as not to waken him

he is my prince, my knight, my soulmate

he knows not my thoughts as i gaze at him
in the soft light filtering through the window

he cannot feel the love i have for him as he sleeps,
ever so sweetly

it is enough just to watch him sleep,
to know he is there, beside me

light of day will bring it's own joys and pleasures,
but for now...............

i will watch him sleep,
and love him all the while...............

(november, 2005)

FINAL CURTAIN

Final Curtain

Eyes, red, not just from tears, but from lack of sleep
Heart, broken, unmendable, the pain too deep

Words spoken, taken as tokens of affection
Words, unspoken, way too much time for reflection

Love, a four letter word, not to be spoken out loud
Blue skies forever gone, nothing there but a dark cloud

It rains, not only in my world, but also in my soul
Of my emotions I no longer have any control

Couples holding hands cause me to look away
I close my eyes and see the love I had yesterday

Nothing lasts forever, of that I am now certain
All that is left for me to do is wait for life’s final curtain

(c by Regina, 2006)

FACES OF FEAR

As the clock struck midnight in the musty old place

She pulled the cover up over her face

Somehow she knew if she looked into the night

She would see faces in the absence of light

These faces were real, but only to her

It was only in darkness this would occur

Oft the faces would evoke terror and fright

Then she would discover their truth in daylight

The faces were hers, distorted through the years

Remnants of her past throughout all the tears

She knew someday she would have to look deep inside

And find the happiness from which she did hide

(c by Regina, 2006)

MOURNING DOVE

She shivers as the cold seeps deep into her soul
She hates when over her own life she has no control

The wind and rain beat hard against the windowpane
She knows once more she will attempt to sleep….in vain

Though she hopes that sleep will hit its mark
She fears the nightmares that come with the dark

Oft when she closes her eyes she sees things she wishes not
Dreams of ghosts and ghouls and swamps filled with rot

She is aware that all this evil is nothing more than her fears
Taking shapes of horrid form to bring her eyes to tears

She reaches over during the night to hold the man she does adore
Realizing the hard cold truth, that he is there no more

She slips deep once more into the nightmares of sleep
Praying the childhood prayer for God her soul to keep

With the first rays of dawn she is awakened by a mourning dove
Though its call sounds sad, she knows it is the call of love

As she listens to its song, she wishes she were sitting in that tree
Calling her lover to fly away with her throughout eternity

(C by Regina, 8-15-06)

MY FINAL RHYME

Wind blows rain against my window
Blurring my view of life outside.

The sky darkens, thunder rolls
And inside these walls I hide.

After the storm’s fury the sun returns
Bringing light once again to others.

But, alas, I sit here inside this tomb
While loneliness my soul smothers.

There was a time when I loved the rain
And would run barefoot in it’s puddles.

Now all I see is wet earth and decay
And the storm my mind befuddles.

Now that I am in my latter years
I look back at my past.

I wonder often what happened in my life
And why my one true love didn’t last.

I could sit for hours wondering why.
I gave up some time ago my will to fight.

So why is it I still continue on
And persist in searching for the light?

I guess it is because I am a child of God
And He wants me to come out of the gray.

I have my loving kitty by my side
To help me through each day.

So she and I, side by side,
Will sit together till it is time

To put down the pen, shut off the computer
And end my final rhyme.

(c by Regina, 8-9-06)

QUIET IS THE NIGHT

Quiet is the night

Darkness envelops

I hope sleep will come

No tears, no fears

Dreams, no nightmares

Day, a long way off

Eternity in darkness

Random thoughts

Nothing of substance

Just nonsense

I need to love

I need to be loved

Where is love??????????

(c by Regina, 8-10-06)

VISIONS OF MY SOUL...A POETRY JOURNAL

When it comes to poetry, I cannot make myself call this a blog. Poetry requires a JOURNAL. I have decided to create this journal as a place of refuge for the ghosts of my soul. Most of what you will read here was written in a moment of despair, depression, or loneliness. Some came from moments of joy, or even just reflection. I don't wish to depress anyone, but sometimes when reading the visions of another's soul, it makes ours seem a little less destitute.

So enter here, read the typed words, knowing that they are deep felt emotions of one of God's creatures.

WELCOME TO MY SOUL.............