ODE TO DARRELL

ODE TO DARRELL

As I cleared my Saved Mail cache

I came across your written word

As well as some early photos of you

And suddenly old memories were stirred.

Though our time together was short

You managed to leave your mark upon my heart

You left me wanting more of you

And a relationship that died before its start

We know not why things happen

In the odd ways they seemingly do

But I guess God needed someone special

So He sent his angels for you.

I hope you are at peace at last

Earthly battles far behind

Just know that though our time was short

You remain in my heart and mind.

©Regina2010

Back in December of 2007, I met a gentleman and started seeing him in January of 2008. We didn’t date often, maybe once every two weeks, mostly just out to dinner or with his bowling buddies. It is not known how far the relationship would go, because a mere 5 months after we met, he died while having a routine, but serious test, run at his doctor’s office. The nurse failed to go in and check on him while the test was being done and he went into cardiac arrest. I didn’t know he had passed away until he didn’t show up for a date we had that night. I knew he had gone to the doctor that morning for tests, but never heard from him again. When I opened a local small time newspaper, the first obituary caught my eye………it was Darrell’s. I was devastated. It was a whole year after his death before I was able to date again.

Darrell, may you Rest In Peace.

OBSESSION

I often felt that those who obsessed

Were insecure, selfish and insane.

Now I find myself doing the same

Only more pious and profane.

Maybe ‘tis why so many have moved on

Avoiding the commitment I wish to share.

Or maybe there’s a glaring tattoo on my chest

That says “move on, this one BEWARE”.

I have no self-esteem to boast about,

So when someone pays full attention

My obsession kicks into full throttle

As commitment becomes my intention.

They never view the relationship

In the same way that I always do.

They look for friends with benefits,

While I’m looking for someone to woo.

It seems that I am the one who always loses

For they never stick around till the end.

I guess I should be forever happy

They at least wanted to be my friend.

©Regina2009

THE EX-LOVER

Finding love is difficult enough

Without having to deal with an ex-lover.

I built the wall, found the going is tough

I tried very hard my poor heart to cover.

So why is it that the ex-lover does call

And stir up old feelings and new?

Wasn’t it enough that I had to build a wall

With no windows or doors for a view?

I wandered alone in the vastness of time

Awaiting your call forever and a day.

Then suddenly appears the perpetuator of the crime

Attempting once more my heart to sway.

Did you not get it when I told you before

I am done with your inability to mature?

So why are you now knocking on my front door

And trying to confuse a heart once pure?

Please go away, I have found happiness true

So there is no need for you to come calling.

I loved you dearly and sometimes still do,

But your actions were way too appalling.

I wish for you only rainbows and gold

And happiness to always abound.

But I now have someone with whom I can grow old

And true contentment now I have found.

©Regina2009

LOVE BETWEEN FRIENDS

why do i do stupid things when i am around you?
you make me feel sixteen again, full of hope.

yet we are only friends, nothing more, nothing less.
and sometimes this is the hardest thing with which to cope.

i have loved before and lost, leaving me inside my brick prison
surrounding my heart and soul, waiting for eternal death.

your smile, your wit, your numerous talents, all drew me to you.
yet i wait to see if you will accept me before my final breath.

my days are numbered, i am closer to being called home.
yet i still wish to love and be loved before i say goodbye.

so i sit and wait inside this brick tomb i have built
waiting for love to take me in it's arms before i die.

i don't hold you to blame, for i understand your plight.
i just can't help how i feel when i think of you.

you have come so far in rebuilding your life
and i support your dreams and everything you do.

please remember me when you get it all straightened out
and find out you are still young and strong enough to love again

for i will be waiting for you behind that brick wall
hoping once more you will find that love can come to friends.

©Regina2009

LOVE’S GARDEN

My hands work feverishly,

Working the yarn over and under.

Outside the sun is brightly shining,

Inside there is rain, lightning, and thunder.

The television blares out some movie

As my mind tries hard to keep busy.

But my emotions, raw and bleeding,

Are so numerous I am ever dizzy.

How can a woman fall so hard and fast

For someone she hardly even knows?

I’ve heard it takes time and commitment

Tending love’s garden as it grows.

Nonetheless I will continue

Sitting and pretending I am fine.

While love and life pass me by

Never quite becoming mine.

©Regina 2009

A PRINCE DID COME

When I was young I dreamed of fairy tale castles
And a handsome young prince riding up on a steed.


When I matured, I realized those dreams were fantasies
And princes were deceitful men who made my heart bleed.


The thought of beautiful roses gave way to thickets of thorns.
And happiness was an illusive butterfly never to be caught.


No castles, no princes, no happy-ever-afters.
Just hard lessons by a savage life were taught.


As I lay grieving over a life filled with woe
A prince rode up on a fiery red horse.


My heart skipped a beat, wondering was this a mirage
Or had my unhappy life finally changed course.


Not only did I find someone for whom I do care
But someone who became my best friend.


And no matter what transpires the rest of my life,
I know he will be there for me till the end.


©Regina2009

BEFORE YOU

Before you,

I had very few moments in the sun.

Before you,

my life never seemed to have begun

Before you,

there was no importance in my life

Before you,

all I had been was an unhappy wife

Before you,

my pleasures were often few

Before you,

my life held nothing new

Before you,

I had little to hold onto day to day

Before you,

my whole world was in complete decay

Then you came into my world and brought sunshine to my soul

And without my even noticing, my very heart you stole

Protect it and cherish it forever and a day

For without your constant caring it will surely pass away

©Regina2009